The pics above are from a family reunion my brother and cousin had last week. It was good to see my family that I haven't seen in a while. While I hate my father, I still love his siblings. They have admitted my dad was wrong for laying his hands on me and my brothers and my mom when I was a kid. I still thank my dad, cause he taught me how to be the opposite kind of father and husband he was. He wanted all the control and thought it was a man's God given right to control his wife and kids. Nope it isn't. A man should cherish and love his wife and put her first and never, EVER cause her any physical or emotional pain. Recently, I found a blog called http://stormy-shelterinthestorm.blogspot.com/ and a few months ago she had a blog post where she said her husband made her go to bed when he did and she couldn't sleep and kept tossing and turning. He ended up getting a clothes hanger out the closet, turning her over his knee and spanking her and then made her go to bed and she cried herself to sleep. She erased the blog post because of some negative comments she got. I guess she can't handle the truth about her husband. Also she kept the blog a secret for months and just recently told him. One of her friends updated and said that her husband would give her a spanking every day for 9 weeks for not telling him. He had given her a limit for how long she could go online which was only an hour. He spanked her for just being upset and in a bad mood and not wanting to cuddle. My wife said with a husband like that she would never want to be touched by him. She had even asked him once about not doing DD for a while but he said NO. That is abuse. When someone doesn't want that lifestyle anymore and the spouse forces it or won't stop it than it does go more into the abuse territory.
I spoil my wife and don't try to hide it. I love her Then there is another blog: http://hermischiefmanaged.blogspot.com/ where my wife left a comment and they put her in spam lol. Cause they can't handle the truth. Again if a man lays a hand on a woman without consent it is ABUSE. But hey if people want to be stupid and allow their husbands to abuse them than they can go ahead. the men would be in jail if it was my wife. this one: http://alovesz.blogspot.com/?zx=cd12fb083bde8b56 thinks it is a husband's God given right also to lead his family and a woman
HAS to submit. And even claims a man can make all the decsions and the wife has to go with them. Like the At&T commercial where the husband signs them up for a family plan and she gets mad. He shouldn't have signed them up first without consulting his wife. And this one: http://tryingtolearnlearningtotry.blogspot.com/ is a lot like Stormy's abusive husband. He gets a kick out of punishing his wife and enjoys it. He doesn't care if he hurts her or she is afraid of discipline. And he is almost as worse as Stormy's husband and should have his ass beat by a real man. Or his wife should get some guts and tell him where he can go. My wife and I would be divorced if I was like any of these men. I thought BabyMan was bad with his wife but these men are even worse. My wife said the women make her sick by allowing the men to do these things. My wife is afraid of a spanking so I could also never ever think of hurting her in this way. I don't even yell when she yells at me. I rather go to hell than cause her any kind of physical pain. Any man who really loves his wife more than himself would never ever hurt her. And spanking hurts regardless of what they say and it is the HUSBAND causing that pain. I think they are trash. Women should stand up to these men and hit back. Any man who wants to boss his wife around is pathetic and needs mental help cause he has problems. No man should be able to boss her around.
On the romantic front of my marriage, I've spent the last few months spoiling my wife even more and always doing a lot of romantic surprises for her. I have cleaned our house, bought her a car, and left notes constantly and text expressing how much she means to me. She does not tell me to do any of these things. I do them myself cause I want her happy. Her being happy is ALL that matters to me. I am a better man than any of those men above. The pics at the beginning of this blog post are pics of some of the romantic things I've done. We went to Virginia Beach and have just gotten closer than I thought possible. Even when we have disagreements, I listen to her and even if she gets mad and yells, we work things out and I NEVER say harsh things to her. All marriages can do it. If a couple has to resort to violence than they need professional help.
One last thing I meant to add is my wife helps pay our cell phone bills and internet bill. She paid the internet bill, she already said if I had made her have a limit on the web, she would have told me "screw you! Then I'm gonna turn off the internet and you won't use it either!" I agree with her. There should never be a limit on the web. If you don't love your spouse enough to spend quality time with them and rather spend more time on the internet than you shouldn't be married. My wife loves me and loves us spending time together cause I am so gentle. If I was anything like those men, she would be afraid and never want to be near me. I would never risk that. And I do have a life, a better marriage than Stormy's husband, or Kay and the others. Because I hate my wife being in pain and do whatever to prevent her being in any kind of physical pain.
Josh, I'm Stormy. Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to talk about me, could you please have the courtesy to get your facts straight? The spanking is for nine DAYS, not weeks. And we agreed upon it together. It's not harsh, not abusive, but is what we decided to resolve this and move on.
I do have to wonder, why do you stalk my blog? And others? You have a curiosity you are afraid to face- you will have to give that skme thought and eventually be honest.
You sound like a loving husband, but a desperate one. Your wife walks all over you. That's fine for you guys. My husband wouldn't allow it because that's a fast track to divorce. It doesn't matter how blissful you may be short term, you need to plan for the future..marriage is forever.
I wish you all the best. I think it's very rude to link to my blog for the purposes of ridicule and mocking.
Stormy
My wife does not walk all over me. She would just refuse 2 let me order her around and like I said my mom and a friend was in a DD relationship and my wife was abused. I just wanted 2 try and understand y a man would do that 2 his wife. And it's abuse. Unless it's like Sarah from finding Sarah where you have the option of not submitting without force and walking away and submitting when you want. My wife had fears 4 a long time that I would turn in2 my dad or her exs or attackers only cause her ex had drilled it in her head that's how things should b. Even tho she's known me since we kids. We work thru our problems without me saying harsh words or yelling. And she has changed n the last few months in how she argues. We are not heading towards divorce cause we do communicate. I'm desperate? Your husband is the one who didn't want u 2 go on a trip with your friends or have space from him. Causing a wife pain is wrong no matter what the reason. You have stated that DD was HIS idea and you feared spankings, that means you really didn't want it. And yet he still hurts u.
ReplyDeleteI am better because I do not cause my wife physical pain and let her express her emotions and make her own descions. She doesn't tell me I have 2 listen to her. I love making her happy. She got drunk the other night and I told her I was taking her keys so she couldn't drive. She refused 2 listen since I was ordering her so I asked her and seduced her and she let me drive. But the point is I did not hurt her at all. I will never do anything she is afraid of.
I still think if your husband really truly loved you he would never cause you any kind of physical pain. There is a such thing as marriage counseling. The way you have portrayed your husband is very controlling and abusive. And you stated numerous times you tried to call off the spanking and he refused to let u. Hat is abuse. It would b letting her walk all over me if I did spank her and then she was fearful and wanted out and I let her? No it's called love. And so my friend walked all over her husband who she divorced cause he wouldn't stop DD? I think not. My wife said you seem like a caring woman and she wishes your husband would love you enough to never spank you again. But I don't think he will. Men like him and my dad need that control.
Oh Joshy...
ReplyDeleteA blog is a place to express your thoughts, desires, wants, etc how much you hate potholes blah blah blah and the same goes for Stormy. You bashing her is not going to make her divorce her husband or turn him in for domestic abuse. Your constant criticism might actually cause Stormy to be the brunt of her husband's anger. I have told you and Nic time and time again that your marriage style works for you and Stormy's marriage style works for her and others like her. You are modern, she is old fashioned.
I just don't get the constant bashing and negativity. Nic sends me links to DD blogs with a note of "OMG!! Read this! Her husband treats her like a slave!" or something like that. Reading them, understanding them and acting on them is totally different than reading them, understanding them and respecting them.
Stormy doesn't agree with your lifestyle and you don't agree with hers! End of story!If you want to continue to read DD blogs and learn from and learn how to be a better person than what you view as lowlife abusive controllers, then fine. But usually the blogs are ran by the wives who blog for support, guidance and to express themselves. As if they don't already have enough struggle with being submissive and being sub-par human beings.
This is America. The land of the 'free' and why sooooooo many immigrants illegally enter the country to be free to make their own choices and do as they please. As us Americans are entitled to as being naturally born citizens. Stormy and her husband are using their freedom to live how they please. You and Nic use your freedom to live how you want as well. Stormy and her husband share the same belief as you do, that that marriage vow you and Nic proclaimed to each other and is sacred. Everlasting. Lifelong. In this modern day, people act like divorce is like going to the grocery store or changing your toilet paper roll. You and Stormy agree on one thing at least, that divorce isn't an option. You two just go about fulfilling that value in different ways. You will not change her mind and she will not change your mind. Is there really a point to keep dogging her choices? Concentrate on you, Nic, Caleb and fulfilling your dreams for your life, family and marriage. Its simple. Think outside the box and coexist.
I continue to read Stormy's blog. I will never be in a DD relationship but I learn from her and her clean writing style. Whereas other DD bloggers I won't read because of the detail they go into of their punishments and sex lives. TMI. If I wanted to know all that, I'd watch a submissive BDSM porno. Stormy writes her blog as say an Amish woman would when committing to their lifestyle. She shares her struggle with submissiveness because it is her struggle. Her expressions help other like wives learn within themselves in their lifestyle and in return she gets support, advice and friendship that benefits herself and her marriage. Instead of worrying so much about her being abused, you should learn from her. As I stated above, how not to be like those men you hate so much. Learning everything you can will only benefit your marriage. Less drama and bullshit equals more time with Nic, Caleb and your life. Its simple.
Love, Brandy :)
I think Josh is right about what he is saying about these men. I was flabbergasted after I read the blogs. I don't think Josh wants that lifestyle but maybe it's like what brandy said and to learn how not to treat his wife. I don't het either how they allow their husbands to hurt them and let's be real, they have admitted the spankings hurt so it's the husband hurting them. Josh from your pics you look like you would really hurt your wife if you did that to her. So she is very lucky to have a husband to love her like you do. My boyfriend is not like those men nor Josh. He tries at times to order me around but I will not let him.
ReplyDeleteI agree marriage is sacred but I would also rather be divorced than ever let my husband hurt me. It seems a little cruel that they get am enjoyment out of spanking. And the Kay from living to learn or whatever blog her husband seems more cruel to me. I agree they couldn't handle a real woman. I will friend request you guys in facebook. Seems like you have a special bond. Keep sticking up for the abused women Josh. Someone has to! And I think the 9 days of spanking was harsh an he just wanted to take his frustration out on his wife. I'd kill myself if my husband did that. I'm sure Josh your wife would too. And you are a very cute couple. Look forward to getting to know you guys more.
Amber
Aaaaw Joshua David Webb! I just realized you posted the picture I editted of you and Nic! Man I love being blonde!
ReplyDeleteCute couple! -eyebrow wiggle- lol :P
LOL brandy we r both blonde! And yes I love that pic! I think I'm gonna move it more 2 the top than the bottom. Nic and I r gonna watch a scary movie 2gether but i will b back 2 reply back 2 u and amber's comments. Besides u can always message me also brandy lol and I kno u r talking 2 nic. Caleb called me a slow ass grandpa the other morn lol, my kid is a lot like his beautiful mother.
ReplyDeletehey..I love your blog..i have read stormy's blog and i feel sorry for her cos she seems like a sweet girl she deserves better than her husband who she herself has said more than onve that he is demanding, difficult, jelouse..i wish somehow she realises and move on and settle with a man like you..:)
ReplyDeleteonly a man who is not secure in his manhood would cauce pain to his wife to make himself feel better..a real man knows his worth.men like you dont need to subordinate women in order to make yourselves feel better..
ReplyDeleteway to go!
I love how you speak up against dd lifestyle..keep that going and link more of their blogs to yours so these dd wives especially stormy come to their senses and run away fast from her husband..
Thanks anonymous. They won't post my comments because they don't like negative comments who don't Praise their abusive husbands and agree with them. I can't believe how many women actually go and praise the husband for punishing the woman. And I can link a few more blogs but those were the most abusive men in those. There is one called husbandly touch and Babyman loves Sugaranne written by men. They actually admit to enjoying spanking their wives and it was their idea also. Erotic spanking is one thing if BOTH parties enjoy the play but when one doesn't and the other gets enjoyment of causing the other pain it is truly sick. Stormy can't see how abusive her husband is and he really doesn't truly love her. If he did he would never spank her again. But he wants the power and control and his wife to obey his word. My wife would turn around and beat the shit out if him or call the cops. My friend chose divorce over DD. I think divorce is better than physically hurting your precious wife. Stormy, Kay, Susie and others like them are too weak and will never get the courage to teach their husbands they are stupid and weak little men and shouldn't be in control. But watch it, lol they Will accuse you if being me because u agreed with me.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have always worked through issues without violence. And any kind of spanking IS violence. It's funny how they say my wife walks all over me, she doesn't but I'd rather her walk all over me then me cause her physical pain. I would ALWAYS let her out of anything if we were like those couples. If she cried of course I would never hurt her. Yes I do learn something from those men. That my wife is so thankful I am NOTHING like them and how NOT to treat my wife.
Stormy's husband beat her with a clothes hanger just for not going to sleep when he wanted her to. She is too good for him. He's nothing but a macho, insecure little man. Any man who lays a hand on a woman like that is just not a real man. The ONLY reason they behave is cause they are afraid of a spanking. Fear has NO place in a marriage. My wife said she would be terrified if I did that. She is my queen and always will be. Yes I let her make the decisions in our marriage when she wants to. And I'm not going to hell cause I don't make my wife submit. I don't want a wife to obey me n any way. I love my wife flaws and all. And yes I do put her over all else n the world.
Josh
ReplyDeleteIf you are SO against the DD lifestyle, why do you read SO many blogs about DD. Your love for your wife is no different than the HoHs love for their wives. The blogs that you refer to all state that their practice of DD is agreed on. Why must you be so nasty to people for what they chose? I just don't get the point of all your negitivity....what do you hope to acheive with it? Do you feel that you will some how "save" all these women?
Uh yeah my love is REAL for my wife. If you ever resort to causing your spouse physical pain, it is never true love. The only DD couple I find decent and really in love is Sara and grant from the "finding Sara" blog. She has admitted her husband doesn't ever force her to submit, if she refuses to then he doesn't grab her and make her, she will have to come when she is ready. That still isn't something my wife and I would ever do, but at least grant isn't a power hungry little piece of trash. Like I said I have read them cause maybe I am hopin one blog post will be where they come to their senses and STAND up to the bastards and fight back. But they are too timid to do that. They can't see it is wrong that their husbands want all this power a d HURT them over it. jay in http://tryingtolearnlearningtotry.blogspot.com/ is just as bad. He forces his wife to submit and won't let her not to. That is wrong and she has admitted he enjoys hurting her. If you think that's right and nothing sick about these men then hey that's you. But there is something wrong with these men. And susi's husband at her midfield managed blog is horrible also. He spanked his wife without ever getting her consent, and by law that is abuse! Why do we have these laws if women are gonna let the men abuse them?and abuse can be more than a fist to the face, or broken bones. Spanking IS abuse also. And no I kno I can't save them, they want to let their husbands hurt them and condone it themselves. But luckily my wife knows I'm a better man and nothing she ever does would make me hurt her, yes even if she hurt me. Which she doesn't hurt me on purpose.
ReplyDeleteShe is allowed her space and to distance herself and I still would never even think of hurting her. If I did she would never want to be near me again. Men shouldn't want any power I've their wives. Stormy's husband is selfish and only wants his happiness, he knows his wife s afraid of spankings and doesn't like them but yet still hurts her. Sick bastard.
And I meant 2 say their love 4 their wives is NOT real at all. Wanting 2 control and hurt someone is not real love.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you stalk so many blogs about a topic that you're clearly against? If you believe women in DD relationships are truly being abused, you have a pretty sickening way of "helping them". Ridiculing them? Is that how you treat all "abused" people?
ReplyDeleteEnlightening.
I don't see why people think what Josh is doing is wrong. And why so many people think what Stormy's husband or Susie's husband or Kay's husband and others like then are such great men and loving husbands. How is any man trying to control you or give you orders and Internet limits and physically causing you pain when you don't "obey" or "submit" to them being such a loving husband? That is abuse in my book. Especially when they don't want the pain. And from what I read Josh and his wife don't spank their children which is even better. Violence is never the key. I would divorce any man who wanted control. Good going Josh! Keep being a great and loving husband. Those other men are little boys.
ReplyDeletekyla
Hi Josh, I'm Julie. I'm in a dd relationship and I can tell you, I'm NOT an abused woman and my boyfriend is NOT abusive. In fact I'm a very strong, free thinking, free spirited, independent woman. I'm a nurse, in charge and in control of peolples lives, I'm also a no non sense nurse as I'm raising baby doctors to be safe and successful grown up doctors. My boyfriend does not TELL me what to do nor does he take any of how I described myself above from me. I understand that you and your wife don't understand our lifestyle and that it's not for you, there are many out there like you who do not understand and that's fine. However, our lifestyle blogs are a place where we can share with like minded individuals and not have to fear being insulted, belittled and made to feel like a freak, so I would appreciate it that if you must express your disagreement with the way we live you do so in a more civilized and respectful manner. We don't come on your blog here and total trash your lifestyle and your relationship the way you have spoken about people you don't even know. I understand that you and your wife come from abuse and how you can see abuse in our kinds of relationships, whether it is there or not. There are certainly those out there that use dd as an excuse to be abusive and controlling to the point of extreme, but it is unfair to lump us all into that group. We all know our lifestyle is not for everyone and we are by no means trying to force it on people. If how we live upsets you so much then please just stop visiting our safe places, us womwne don't need you to ride in and save us from our (terrible abusive men) we consent to this and guidelines you think take away our freedom are things mutually agreed upon and consent to. Yes some have second thoughts about whether it is what they want (like Stormy) her husband encourages her to stick with it because he knows how much better their marriage is since beginning this, not that he just said NO. since you don't know the very private details of their relationship before or after this lifestyle (only they know that) please refrain from speaking of it like you do.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Yeah ok so Stormy's marriage is better because she gives into what he wants and let's him have his way and control her and tell her what to do so to not get him to hurt her and make him happy she submits? Yeah that's one amazing, excellent husband she has there. I pay half the bills including our Internet bill and my own car payment and half our cell phone bill like I'm sure a lot of wives do. No way on this green earth would I let my husband tell me when I could go out or how long I could go on the Internet. And from stormy's latest blog post, that I had to be all lovey dovey to him and couldn't have my space! No way. He would get a belt or clothes hanger right back.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think Josh is bashing all of you DD couples. I think he sees how abusive some are. Ok so Julie you and some women just go and undo what we women have worked YEARS for!! Our rights to not have to do what our husband s say. My husband also values my opinions too and when we disagree we come through it without him hurting me also. If I don't want to do something, he doenst make me and wouldn't punish me either. And what if your husband does something wrong, why can't you punish him? And I read where kay's husband said he would not go for it. So why not? Why is it ok for him to cause his wife pain but she can't him? And the Mitch from husbandly touch seems ok but he just seems a little macho, like he thinks he has a RIGHT to order his wife around. I think Josh is stating how women like stormy and Kay and the others should act towards their husbands. It makes me sick that those sick men do that to their wives and see nothing wrong with it and think they have the right to make rules and their wives Have to abide by them or get hurt. I agree if I was them I would cause physical pain right back. If you want your husband wants to cause you pain, then that just is not a real man in my opinion. Love your blog Josh and hope your fb is as loving to your wife and you show how men are sickening there too.
No, Stormy's marriage is not better because she gives into everything her husband wants, from what I understand of the reason's for starting a dd relationship (everyone has their own reason's) her marriage is better because she & her husband now deal with issues differently. Many couples begin this lifestyle after many years of being together in relationships that weren't working in a traditional lifestyle. In fact incorporating dd into a relationships have saved a lot of couples from divorce & they now have a happier healthier more loving relationship than before. It's not about who's controling who, in all relationships at some point someone must lead & someone must follow, dd is about deciding that the man will lead. I describe my relationship like this, my boyfriend & I are a team, he leads our team. We aren't undoing years of progress for women because we are not giving up ourselves in these relationships. I own my own home, pay my bills & make my own decisions, my opinions are respected, my time is my own to spend as I like. In my dd relationship we have decided as a couple what's acceptable & what's not, what is harmful to us as a couple & our happiness & when those agreements are broken then yes discipline occurs. We don't have bad feelings,anger & resentment building up eating away at our bond, issues are delt with & we move on. As I said, it's not for everyone,not everyone understands,& yes Josh is bashing us because he voiced his opinions in a rude, disrespectful manner. It's ok to not agree with someone else's way of doing things for instance after reading his blog if I were his wife I'd feel extremely smothered, but if it works for them that's cool. I'm not going to comment on how wrong I think that is especially in the way he did. We're not trying to convert the women of the world, we just want our society where we can give & get support & share how we do things not be invaded by people who don't understand & aren't open minded, telling us that our men are mean & controlling & that us women are abused & need help. They aren't & we aren't. We don't give up our rights as women, in fact dd makes us stronger women & actually more in control than the rest of you. But there's no convincing close minded people so I won't try. We'll all move on with our dd & not give Josh a second thought, he seems to spend a great deal of time thinking about us though. I wonder if in some way he envy's our relationship.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of time to reply and will make a better reply later. But everything I do 4 my wife, I know she loves cause she has told me she loves it. Thing is, if she showed any signs that she didn't like anything I did or it displeased her n any way, I wouldn't do it anymore. That is another big difference n Stormy's husband and me and Kay and Susie's husbands. I wouldn't do anything my wife didn't like. And you know y DD works? Cause u want to avoid pain, so u do what ur husband says. And that isn't right. And I put down the men. I only said I feel very sorry 4 the women. And they should stand up 2 the men and hit back. But of course I've read that I'd they did they would b hit worse.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have a very unique bond, our friends see it and we r very happy. Y would I b envious of u in any way? I can assure u on my son's life that there is NOTHING n your lifestyle that I want. And if people have that many issues n their marriage, where they need them causing physical pain 2 their wives then they need marriage counseling. and most men I read n DD marriages do have the mentality that they have the right 2 the control and their laws must b obeyed. The top three worse ones are Kay's, Susie's and Stormy's. My wife has done a lot of things they have done, and never did I raise a hand 2 her or did she feel not one tiny bit of pain from me. It would kill me if she ever felt any from me. Whenever she has asked for space, I've given it 2 her. No questions. My friend Michelle will tell u her husband was just like Stormy's and she finally slapped him and got out the marriage. He chose to hurt her over loving her without pain. It's sad some husband's can't do that. And there are some of u I've read that have commented it should b legal 4 a man to discipline his wife and some women need it. That is never true. If a woman is like some it would cause more harm and the man would end up hurt more. I think whenever the man asks his wife 4 DD and says they need 2 do it than something is wrong with him. Erotic spanking is different. I stand by my statement, my marriage is better and I'm a better husband cause I REFUSE 2 cause my wife any pain and make sure she is happy.
Well, I have just spent more time than I should have, reading ALL of this, especially battling through so much mis-spelling, poor punctuation and bad grammar.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, if I thought that these women were being abused, then I would also be as horrified as you appear to be Josh, and yes, there may be some men out there that wrap up their abusive natures under the guise of D/d. But, for the majority, this is so not the case. You have read but have not understood.
I am not going to waste my time in defending these couples and the choices they have made as it's extremely clear to see that there is no part of you that would be willing to listen, to understand, to compromise or to see things from another perspective. Your ignorance, your unwillingness to realise that everybody is different and lack of open-mindedness and all of the above, portrays a much more damaging picture to me. I know which qualities I'd prefer in a man.
Oh, and the absolute disrespect that shines clearly through in every nasty comment you have made shows exactly how uneducated you must be because nobody with any intelligence, morals or values, would ever attack these people the way you have.
You and your wife do not practice this lifestyle. All fine and dandy. May I suggest finding a more suitable pastime for yourselves, that does not involve trailing through blogs that hold no apparent interest to you both? Although I would strongly suggest you don't touch on these people who really are in abusive relationships because they need empathy and support, not to be attacked all over again by you.
Hiya Josh and everyone!
ReplyDeleteSince I'm talked about so much in this post, I thought I'd pop in and say hello. And even though it might be futile to do so, to try to help you see another perspective. Josh, it's a little unusual to spend so much time bashing a lifestyle you don't agree with. Most people, if they don't agree with something, they don't discuss it, they don't spend all this effort trying to prove they're the opposite, they focus on other things. But obviously this is a seriously emotional issue for you, with unresolved pain, stemming from a lot of sources. I read the rest of your blog to try to understand where you're coming from. I'm glad your relationship with your wife is sweet and that you're happy. It sounds like you both have been through a tremendous amount of pain in your lives, and that's why this is such an issue for you. But I do want to remind you that just because the situation may look similar to what you recognize, does not mean you truly understand it. And it sounds like what you know of DD (which sounds like not DD at all) is biasing how you see our blogs.
For instance, you said you respect Sara's Grant and Mick, because they'd stop if asked. That's a key component in the DD lifestyle, and any husband that wouldn't, yes, I totally agree with you; that's not right. My husband would stop immediately if I asked him to, and every other true DD husband would too, including Stormy's. We stay in it, because we see the benefit of it. There's no forcing of any kind. We have a voice, and we use it. For instance, my husband once used a belt on me. Not even hard enough to even hurt, he was joking around. But it caused a REAL emotional reaction in me, because of something from my childhood. He cuddled me close, and asked me to tell him what was wrong, if he'd messed up somehow, how he could fix it. I told him not to use it again, and he hasn't. I've said in my blog that he enjoys spanking me sometimes. That's the small stuff that's more of a reminder to behave than anything else. But he does NOT enjoy punishing. He HATES it! There's a drastic difference, that you're not seeing.
I write my blog to process my feelings, and sometimes I use humor as a part of that. But the ultimate truth is, that I'm hoping you will open up your mind to understand, is that we ARE consenting adults. There are rules I'd rather not have, but when I'm honest, I see the benefit of them. I wouldn't submit to them if I didn't; we'd talk it out, he'd listen to my side, I'd listen to his, and we'd make a decision about it together. That's how our dynamic works.
And let me be clear, too, our marriage has changed drastically since we began this. We're happier, there's no resentment, very little fighting (well there was last week because of a mistake on his part, but that was understandable, and we both learned from it). He cherishes me completely, and I feel that every second. This dynamic works for us.
Do I think you should go out and embrace it? No, obviously not! You've obviously found out the way that works for you. And I'm glad you're not like Nicole's ex, it sounds like that was a horrible situation. I do believe that everyone should feel heard and valued, and if that's not happening, then yeah, there's a serious issue there. And the same with your friend that was in a supposed DD relationship--if it's not consensual, it's not DD.
Also, we're cool with dissenting comments usually, but there has to be respect. So no name calling, insulting, etc. That's why we delete comments. But really, if you don't agree with something, don't read about it, don't focus on it! Listen to your friend Brandy, she's right! Know different couples do different things, and if both consent/are happy, that's what's important, ok?
So anyway, I hope this helped you. I wish both you and your wife the best.
Kay :)
Hi Josh
ReplyDeleteFound your blog as you have been approvingly name checked in some rather intolerant comments on other blogs.I thought this blog might be about you,your marriage and your life.would that it were so.Stormy and Kay have both left you polite and succinct comments setting out their points of view,and Brandy has quite rightly suggested that live and let live is a pretty good motto if people live differnetly to you and cause you no harm.
I have no idea why you can only describe your marriage by comparing it with others.I have no idea why you feel the need to be rude and disrepsctful to people who mean no injury to you and I have no idea why you clearly have an obsessive and unhealthy interest in marriages which involve consensual spanking.
I hope you will give Kay the courtesy of a well written reply,but as you consistently refuse to engage other than on you own terms,I fear this will not be the case -hope I'm wrong.
So I wish you and your family well and hope you can move on from your fixation on reading about things you claim to despise.A very good start might be to delete this tawdry little blog and go take some english lessons.(Damn -I meant to be polite all the way through but fell at the last hurdle)
I too read a lot of the dd blogs. Some are simply bdsm pretending to be dd, some are fake, and then some are truly abusive. Stormy's is abusive. Their marriage is all about HIM. If he's mad, moody, tired, lonely...etc, she's gonna get spanked. I feel bad for their children. Kids know so much more about what goes on in their home than parents will give credit for. If their kids are over the age of 4 or 5, I guarantee you that they know that daddy beats mommy. Stormy has put her husbands demands ahead of her childrens welfare. And she wanted to adopt another child????? That's sick! I know God intervened to keep that child out of such a home. I hope that Stormy wakes up one day and gets her and her kids out. Until then, she's a wife who gets treated worse than a pet, as normal kind peopke won't even beat their dogs the way she is beat.
ReplyDeleteWell, Josh I think you are a weak little man, because you cannot even stand up to your wife. The way you let your wife walk all over you is wrong. No woman should do that to her husband. ANd you said you let her have control and tell you what to do if she wanted? That is messing with our rights as men! Your wife really needs to be turned across your knee and spanked good! She would respect you a whole lot more. Our wives should respect us. Actually, you could learn a lot from Stormy's husband. It may be hard to cause your wife some pain, but it is better for the marriage. It really should be legal! Step up man and show her who is boss! Be a real man like you claim you are! You are a big strong man, then use some of those muschles you have and teach your wife some damn respect! my wife would never do what yours does, she knows better! and the women here who are defending you their husbands should teach them a thing or two also.
ReplyDeleteto the anon above,http://stormy-shelterinthestorm.blogspot.com/, http://hermischiefmanaged.blogspot.com/..,and kay...josh is the real man..why?..because domestic violence is a crime and he is sane enough and man enough not to engage in it..violence is violence even if you choose to sugar coat it and call it dd..you guys talk about consent?..there is a fine line btw consent and blackmail...it does not look like you ppl really have a choice..you poor wives are jus made to beleive that you have a choice when in reality yu dont..there is also a big differnce btw being selfish and seeing the bigger picture..this once i read in stormy's blog about how she was bathing and he wanted to have sex and she did not come out of the bathroom for a long time cos she was not in the mood.he then tricked her into coming out by saying he will talk about her feelings and spanked her silly and had sex with her any way...that spells out marital rape to me...
ReplyDeletethere is also a fine line btw fear and respect..you girls say yu respect your repective husbands after dd..does not seem like repect to me..it seems more like you girls comply due to the fear..a differnece many do not seem to notice..there is no spanking involved in my marriage and we are still happily married for 25 years..why?..cos we listen to each other not cos of fear of punishment but cos we do not want to see each other sad or dissapoint each..that is real love..like josh and nicole's..and the anon above since when did women telling men what to do is messing with their ' rights'..I could go on but does not look like these women will change so n o point..i seriously think these women who 'choose' dd have some deep rooted psychological problem..good luck to all of you..
Josh- way to go man!!..love your blog..by the way I am the second and the third anon..my name is hope..nice to 'meet' you..:)..why have you not posted anything in recent times..:)
i will giive you an exsample of 'consent'..a 40 year old man having sex with his 18 year old niece..she is scared she is afraid so when 'asked' if she is okay with having sex with him she may say yes..why?..cos she is SCARED..but can this man be taken to court..no, why?..cos she has given her ' consent'..is it called rape..no ,why?..cos she is given her 'consent'..but is it true consent..no way..it is out of FEAR....fear fear fear..thats wht we are trying to point out here..i dont see true consent in many dd marriages..its forced consent if you know what i mean..an oxymoron but true..
ReplyDeleteHope
Hi hope nice to finally know your name lol. Sorry I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but don't worry, I will. I wanted to give a good thought out reply and our son has been sick lately so I haven't had time. One thing I notice is Stormy has been asked a few good questions about true fear and what her husband thinks about the negative comments towards him but she never answered. And my wife knows about this blog 100% I told her and showed if to her from the beginning, I didn't keep it from her for 7 months. She has read this latest post and was gonna comment on it before our son got sick. She is actually the one who pointed out the blogs to me. And one of our friends who is divorcing her husband said stormy's husband was exactly like hers used to be but she took away his contol and finally got the courage to leave. My mom also refused to see my father was abusive for many years. And if stormy or any of them think it's ok for their husbands to also spank their children too than they really do need help. They don't think it is abuse cuz they aren't being punched around. But abuse has many forms. And you are right about him being very selfish.
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, Anon, my wife doesn't walk all over me nor does she disrespect me. She is just allowed to show feelings and emotions and not supress them in fear. I will be back soon with a longer post to everyone. I made breakfast in bed for my beautiful wife and she is trying to clean up the kitchen, and I don't want her to lol.
To the other anon Commenter, my wife read your comment and said please go back and reread your comment. It was filled with so many grammar and punctuation mistakes. She said there are spaces between periods. Lol I love her spunk. And she can talk that way to anyone and she won't be in trouble!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I am gonna reply back to kay's comment. I do have readers who enjoy my blog, so why would I delete it only cause some don't like my bluntness?
"Josh," I think you and all of your defenders are the same person -- a woman, in fact, who is obsessed with following domestic discipline blogs. Only you know why. Deep down, I think you protest far too much. I also think you're deeply insecure. Your constant references to how wonderful you are as a husband always come at the expense of some DD online husband. You're always comparing yourself to them. Why do you need to do that? If you cared at all about these people you deride, you would try to help them. You wouldn't continually insult them. You may be blunt but you certainly are not kind.
ReplyDeleteI also think you have no business commenting on anyone's grammar and punctuation. None at all.
Hey, how does that bluntness feel now? Just keeping it real.
I agree with the fear comments. Stormy is so obviously afraid and thats proved by the fact that before she told her husband about the blog she went and deleted a bunch of her posts. She even had a post explaining that she needed to delete a bunch so that he would never see them. If a woman is that afraid for her husband to see things she's written, then she's in an abusive relationship. I'm allowed to tell my guy that I disagree with him, I can tell others I disagree with him, I can write that I disagree with him...he's man enough to handle it.
ReplyDeletePoor Stormy is beat almost daily. You know, I'm not 100% against spanking kids, but if you are spanking them daily or even weekly, its your parenting that is the problem. If its abusive to spank your kids daily (and it is) then its abusive to do so to your wife. What sickrns me is the thought that after he beats her and she is bruised and sobbing, he probably feels so manly. That's disgusting! So many of these women discuss their bruises...thats ABUSE!!!! One woman in the blog A Spanked Army Wife practices spanking, while pregnant even though she's extremely high risk. When she asked if that was ok, all the comments said it was fine...except for one (mine). These women are willing to put their welfare at risk, their children in to a sick atmosphere, and their unborn children in danger...the women are sick, the men are sick, and the children will suffer.
I find it funny that the defenders of abuse are commenting as anon when on their blogs, if you question them as an anon, they say its cowardly.
ReplyDeleteThey also claim that they would never be 'so rude' on someone elses blog, as they firmly believe in the right to have your own opinions, but, again in their hypocritical fashion, they're commenting rudely on this blog.
Lol, these women have issues!!!!
If this lifestyle were so magnificent, they wouldn't need their blogs to 'process' everything. That right there indicates how negative of a situation it is, as they need an outlet to deal with it all.
Another interesting thing is that they can't tell their friends and family about it. Why? Because it's abuse, not because the others dont understand. Many people don't understand bdsm, but if you tell a friend you're into it, they usually wouldnt freak, if anything they'd be intruiged. However, if you're into sex with dogs, you'll lose friends by announcing that. That's because one (bdsm) is a kinky choice, whereas the other (dog sex) is disgusting and abnormal. Dd is abusive and so, of course, its not something they can share.
I meant to say more Josh feels more superior LOL. I was typing waay too fast.
ReplyDeleteI am a 39 year old married woman and have been married for 15 years now. My husband and I are so in love as we were our first year of marriage. Our oldest is graduating from med school. Hard to believe. Our youngest who is 16, was our wild child lol. But she never has done drugs. And we never once spanked or "swatted" our children. I very lightly swatted my oldest's hand once. Not even enough to make it sting. It was just so to get his attention. My husband never put a hand on them. And they are happy and great adults now. I agree raising kids can be done without any kind of corporal punishment no matter how the kid is but it takes patience. Also my husband and I have had our arguments of course and days we drove each other crazy. But he has never put a hand on me or thought I should be submissive to him.. Yes we do go to church. But we submit to each other and respect each other. We also made a promise to each other that we would never go to bed angry. I don't think spanking should be in any marriage if both parties do not enjoy it. After reading about Stormy's husband and the other's husbands, I felt very sick. She allows it out of fear. It is very clear in her words. If not she would tell him off. Josh you are a very good husband, I think better than those evil men. That is not real love. A lot of your other readers I agree with. Power corrupts. Why should stormy's husbands needs and wants come first? They shouldn't. I do agre if he loved her at all he wouldn't be any cause of pain to her.
ReplyDeleteI think it is also very funny only because many of us people who post under anonymous and agree with Josh's side of things, he gets accused falsely of being the same person. And anonymous who said Josh should spank his wife you are very evil and should be in jail for doing that to your wife. And to the anonymous poster who commented on Josh talking about your grammar, you did start it by talking about others grammar. And if I read correctly, he said his wife said that. I don't know why the DD community think they are right and every woman should be a beating mat for their husband just for being outspoken to our husbands and refusing to let them order us around.
Tricia
Yeah if u want your husband to be your slave and a door matt, u would want a husband like Josh. Josh should take advice from those men he talks about. He would probaly be a happier man then.
ReplyDeleteOk ok ok this is fucking ridiculous. I am my own person. I am a 28 year old married woman from Florida. I am not Josh nor his wife. I'm friends with them, so that automatically makes me a bad person and Josh? Sorry I'm not Josh. I do not support the DD lifestyle but I'm not going to trash a woman or a man who believe in that lifestyle and follow it! More power to them! Whereas others, like Josh and his wife, are totally against it and view it as a demeaning, degrading lifestyle to women and extremely abusive. Each person is entitled to their opinions so it rather really REALLY childish to go anon and bash someone who does not share your views.
ReplyDeleteI read Stormy's blog from time to time because I like her writing style, if she was ever allowed to write books/stories professionally I'd support her, and her accounts of her struggles to be like a second rate human being back in the 1500s reiterates my stance the women's movement and that women are better than men in every aspect of life. My marriage is a partnership, I wear the pants and my husband wears the pants. If I allowed my husband total control over everything and just sat back to be at his every beck and call, we'd be homeless and living in a dumpster. My husband admires my intelligence and independence and the fact that while I'm disabled, I can do many things others can't do. I am happy with my husband and the way we live our life but there are others who do not believe in a partnership and are old fashioned. That's perfectly fine! Live your life and don't worry what others think! If you live your life anxious what others think and say, you'll be very depressed and unhappy. Until cops show up at your door to arrest the man of the house for domestic and/or child abuse, don't fucking worry about what others think and say. Unless you love drama and live for it.
Now brandy, we have been over this. I don't love drama. But I speak my mind and I am very opinionated. You know this. You have gotten on me about it a few times. But it's just who I am. I don't think I ever bashed stormy, I did however bash her husband I admit. And I don't apologize for it. My wife and mom had control taken away by men like Stormy's husband and her friends. So hell yes I put those men down. Somebody should speak the truth about how they are and how they treat their women is wrong. Stormy erased quite a few of her blog posts where she talked about her husband hurting her worse. Caleb is out of bed and screaming for juice so I will be back. And to anon above brandy. I will never take any advice 4rm stormy's husband or ever want to be even a little lime him. I'd rather be in jail if it was a law to make your wife submit. And I'd rather b in hell than have my wife submit to me and have to obey my "final" decisions. I admit I do what my wife says but it is on my own, she does not force me. And everything I do isn't go be a slave to her, she doesn't tell me to do anything. I do it all on my own. Because her happiness is my NUMBER ONE goal and concern besides out son.
ReplyDeleteJosh my post wasn't directed just at you, but the anons and whoever else decide to read your opinions on the DD lifestyle. Especially the one who accused me of being a man. You get so damned defensive. Brush it off. They aren't paying your bills or giving you orgasms, so who gives a shit. You have your opinions, they have theirs. That's life.
ReplyDeleteI have commented before but it was never posted. I just read something on Stormy's blog that left me sick to my stomach. She allows her husband to "spank" her children! As for her children knowing I remember reading a post about her daughter threatening her with telling Dad some lies to get her way! She has stated more than once she was afraid he was going to kill her. She always says she is kidding but I believe she feels this is a real possibility. I read a blog once about a woman with RA that gets beat by her husband. I can not imagine the pain this must cause! They always say that it is this or go back to an awful marriage. What can be more awful than fear and pain? Stormy states marriage is forever but even the Bible says if you can not live in peace leave!
ReplyDeletehummmm..you realize your only adding intrest and trafic to the DD blogs by putting all the links on your blog?????
ReplyDeleteI find it kind of funny that your friend Brandy reads some of the DD blogs and actually understands what they are really about and will continue to read them but you don't bash her.
keep up the work and more and more people will read the DD blogs, Not everyone is as judgemental as you are...so the DDers will get some more readers and fans..just sayin.... lol...btw...I had never really hurd of DD untill I stumbled on your blog...now I am a fan of several of the blogs. I don't "support" the lifestyle, but I also don't judge people for what they choose to do in their personal lives, sooo...I don't see any wive or husband on those blogs EVER say that its not TOTALLY consensual...No one is forced against their will to do anything in any of those blogs...
I have found something new and interesting to learn about, and I have you to thank for that...go figure.
Julie you are the scariest of them all! You are a nurse who says you are training doctors! Do you know by law if you or those same doctors see bruises and marks from a cane,crop,belt,whip,coat hanger,broken shovel handle or paddle you must report it! God help the poor woman who tells you her husband "spanks" them.
ReplyDeleteSorry Steph, didn't mean to delete your comment. I was sorting out my inbox and it deteted your comment instead. If u want to repost it I wil publish it. Sorry! You know I am blond lol.
ReplyDeleteI had a copy of this in my email lol so sure I can write it again, but this time do not delete it blondie :)
ReplyDeleteI think it is very funny how just because people agree with Joshua, that people think he is fake or a woman. Why is that? If you agree with the men who abuse their wives, than that is up to you and very sick I think. I personally know Joshua and his wife. Friends with them on facebook, have their phone numbers, both of them and do not live that far away from them. But the thing is, people will believe whatever their minds want them to. Joshua is very secure in who he is as a husband. He does feel inferior to the men who abuse their wives, and why is that such a bad thing? It is sad women applaud or stand up for a man who will controls his wife. Joshua also isn't afraid of who he is and he has put his pictures on his blog, those others that he talked about are so ashamed that they will not show their real faces. I have known Nicole since we were in 1st grade. I didn't know Joshua that well, just saw him around and he was friends with my brothers. But he is a great husband. I see every time I am around them how he is with her. He spoils her, he is very gentle with her and does whatever he can to make her happy. Maybe you have a problem with how he is as a husband or maybe you are jealous and agree with the anonymous poster about how he should beat his wife. Either way I think you are very stupid. I agree with everything he has said. After reading those abusive blogs, I don't understand how those woman allow their husbands to just treat them like trash. They are selfish, superior acting boys. Their wives are very stupid for not seeing the truth and their husbands are dirt for wanting control and for their wives to obey them and spank them and hurt them.
Please Joshua keep blogging and telling about how wonderful you are as a husband. More men should be like you. Not like their son of bitches of a husband. There is nothing wrong with a man showing his love for his wife and spoiling her and making her happy like Joshua does his wife. So what that Josh lets his wife do whatever she wants? At least he does no physically harm her or cause her pain. And spanking their wives is phsysically harming them. Just because he has a lot of Anonymous posters doesn't mean it is him. Some people don't have a gmail account so they post anonymous. His friend Brandy has defended him, and told his wife she also thinks it is disgusting. So she is fake also? She just was a little more respectful.
Joshua, hope Caleb feels better. Keep being the wonderful husband you are.
Joshua, I am very sorry you are being accused of being verbally abusive and rude. I don't think you are being completely rude. Ye maybe the way you have said some things could be different, but overall, you have been right. I hope you will keep stating facts about that lifestyle. And hopefully one day Stormy's husband will see the comments and realize how wrong he is and change. But I have met men and dated men like that and they don't change. They feel it is their right to treat their wives like that. Your wife is very truly lucky to have you as a husband. I would also never allow my husband to treat me such as her husband does. And one of her readers told her she was glad she put you back in your box. I guess she thinks stormy's husband is right and it is great he hurts his wife.
ReplyDeleteI read the comment where you said your wife had copies of her blog posts she deleted, that comment isn't here now, don't know if you deleted it or not. But I would like to read them. I feel so bad that her husband only loves himself and she thinks it is true love that he hurts her but still loves her. I pray she sees the light soon. She is a good wife and does love him very much and he should treat her better than he does. Please keep being loving and gentle to your own wife. You are a better husband than Stormy's and don't let any of the others get you down. And to the anonymous person who said Josh needed to spank and get his wife, you need help. His wife is smart and knows her husband would never cause her any kind of pain. I pray your wife if you are married leaves you to.
Danielle
So I tried to comment respectfully on stormy's blog and actually give her an honest opinion about her abusive husband. But she didn't publish the comment. I think she is afraid of her husband reading some of the comments. On her newest post I tried to comment and she now limited who can comment. Which goes to show she doesn't want anyone disagreeing with her husband beating her. He really does not really love her since he continues to hurt her. And after reading your whole blog, how romantic and gentle you are with your wife, I think he could take some advice from you. You tell your wife all the time how much you miss her and love her and how beautiful she is to you?
ReplyDeleteAlso Sara and s few of her friends questioned her husband a few times and how he treats her. Apparently Sara even made a comment on the "learning to live" blog about stormy but it was deleted. I doubt you care if you made their blogs more popular. That anon's comment made it seem the opposite. Please don't stop blogging. And I see on facebook, a lot of women agree with your way of how you are towards your wife and think you are an awsome husband also. Take care.
Danielle
Hey you have to read this post! http://notthepetries-ourroad.blogspot.com/?zx=ab08a427013e7859
ReplyDeleteIt shows how really "big and tough" these sorry excuses for men are really. He sits in the car while his wife faces down a drugged out half naked man!
I am not really sure why I am even bothering to comment because I am sure that nothing will be different except the way I feel. Please stop worrying and writing about those of us who have chosen a life and marriage with domestic discipline. Until you have tried it, you can't really know what it is like. I have been married over 21 years and only 6 months ago did we start DD. I have been in your shoes (almost, since we all have different life experiences). My husband was the one who at first opposed the idea but now things are going well. It is not all about the spankings and the discipline, it is about respect and honor and allowing for one person to have the final say. And maybe you don't know this, but in some relationships, it is the woman who is the head of the household. When I decided to submit to my husband he embraced it and has become more of a man, a husband and a father than any man I know. We have become an undivided couple. Instead of constantly fighting for control, we work together. And yes, I get spanked. It is not abuse when we are consenting adults. And if I absolutely refused a spanking, it wouldn't happen - and that is how it is in all DD relationships. Communication, caring and consent. And believe me when I say, trust is the biggest factor that makes DD work. If there is any type of abuse or reason for a wife to not trust her husband, then DD will not work. So even though you and some of your supporters think you know what you are talking about, I don't think you do. And anyways, who are you to judge. If you didn't give out the blog sights, you would not even have gotten any of our attention. But you did. So now we have read this blog and we shake our heads and feel sad for you. Ignorance is not an excuse. I am not saying that you are ignorant but that you are not schooled in DD. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. This is what works for us. Our blogs are ways that we share our stories, laugh about our mistakes, ask questions, and make friends. We do not blog for your amusement and entertainment.
ReplyDeleteAnd one more thing, be really careful who's toes you step on. Right now you have only attracted the attention of the wives who blog. But when the husbands get involoved, know that they are very protective of their wives. DD is a way of life and I am proud to be part of the people who share this lifestyle. We all share the same values towards marriage and family. Because of DD, my 21 years of marriage will just be our beginning. We will be happily married on our 50th anniversary too. And hopefully, there will still be a firm hand on my arm, around my shoulder and on my bottom.
Anonymous my friend,
ReplyDeleteI don't think Rob ever claimed to be big and tough.He's not. well Ok, he's not small but tough would not be my first adjective. (He respected my wishes to stay in the car,-no sense adding kerosene to a fire.) My marriage is very egalitarain. Have you actually read my blog? I've never been "spanked" without my consent on some level. There's a saying "The top may act in charge but the bottom is truly in control". That fits us.
If you have any thoughts. We are all for free speech as long as the language is civil, I generally have thick skin and publish all comments.
Laurie
Read my comment about mikki who caused their son pain and spanked him on your happy thanksgiving post! She is a disgusting parent!!!! She should be in jail and you and your wife are better parents.
ReplyDelete